It is so easy to make promises to yourself when you are feeling good. I did that today, standing on Kirkstall Bridge opposite the famous inn whose beer garden looks out over the water, gazing down into the flow of the River Aire as it passed beneath me. Now I’m sitting on the sofa in my mum’s house craving a cigarette, terrified that I have disappointed my best friend and all I want to do is smoke and run from the pain in my solar plexus, which is where I feel almost all of my emotions.
Like many turnings in this part of town, the paths to new good habits are winding and double back on themselves. They seem idyllic yet unclear. A mentor of mine once reassured me (among her hundreds of thousands of other followers) that change is meant to feel uncomfortable ~ you are literally creating new neural pathways in your brain. I think about this often when I fall back into old habits. And I can say with some certainty that my neural pathways are particularly stubborn ones. I recommend practising sitting with your emotions, just for a short while at first, slowly increasing in time until you know you can hold them instead of run… Running from my emotions is one thing I am absolutely fantastic at in life, so if you find you do this too ~ welcome, friend.
Leeds was beautiful today, she is a favourite among English cities in summer. I walked down the hill from visiting my dad and bought a meal deal from Morrisons, eating it surreptitiously at a table in the cafe before catching the bus home. I love this shot of the silver ragwort against the garage at the shopping park, the strangely complementary colours give me joy and make me think that perhaps humans and Nature can exist harmoniously side by side after all…
Hope you all have a good weekend.
In Love&Light, FS XOX
Mindfully Stylish 🌷 
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